Author Archives: klmullady

Grilled Oysters with Compound Butter

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One of my girlfriends taught me the concept of POW and WOW. 

Here is a POW/WOW from last weekend:

POW: I received $900 in speeding tickets (true story)

WOW: It was Kelsey’s bday and we celebrated like whoa

POW/WOW from last 3 months:

POW: Monthly apartment rent = cost of 329582852 food processors

WOW: Apartment is amazing

And now a POW/WOW from my life:

POW: Some people don’t like oysters

WOW: I can convert them via compound butter

As an ambassador for awesome food, oysters are the MOST awesome and I refuse to believe an oyster hater can’t be converted.

I’ve toiled in compound butter before and this one could certainly be used for any piece of fish/meat but its best friend is truly the oyster.  Here’s how it goes down:

Mix 10 tablespoons room temperature butter* with two tablespoons parsley, two tablespoons parmesan cheese, one tablespoon lemon juice, two teaspoons garlic, one teaspoon chives, a pinch salt, and a pinch cayenne pep.  Roll up on plastic wrap like a burrito and freeze.  Place a pat on each oyster and grill for five minutes.  Devour.

*Are you a procrastinator? Is your freezer predominantly consumed by fossilized Lean Cuisines because you keep putting off grocery shopping? When I say room temperature, I mean it every time.  Step away from the microwave.  If you did not think far enough in advanced to let the butter set out then you don’t get to make the recipe.

Lastly- shucking oysters is a bitch.  Whole Foods loves you and wants to shuck them on your behalf.  Just call in advanced.

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Olive Tapenade

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Now I know you can just go to the store, buy a dip and put it in a bowl.  I know.   I know that that process will take you plus or minus 1 minute.  This Olive Tapenade will take you about 2 minutes.  Think you can spare an additional minute? Think you can take 60 seconds off instagramming?

Literally just pulse 0.5 lbs pitted olives, one tablespoon lemon juice, two tablespoons olive oil, two tablespoons capers, one garlic clove, and two anchovy filets in a food processor.  If you live in a black hole or Alaska or something you could leave out the anchovy but that would make you crazy.

Serve with bread.

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Chicken Paillard

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Grown-up Chicken Nuggets aka Chicken Paillards

It was Kelsey’s birthday last week and after all the celebrating was over, I started thinking about getting older and all that goes along with it.

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Rem chick nugs? You probably worshiped them as a shnub and now are at the tender age of 25 still jonesin for them.  Maybe you’re not jonesin because you still eat them.  It’s hard to say.

What I will say is you gotta drop the nugs.  It’s over for you two.  I know you’re upset.  I know we might not talk for a while but the jig is up.  Some things just no longer go together.  Saving for a condo… eating chicken nuggets….. spending a week’s pay on a handbag…. eating chicken nuggets….having a locally sourced turkey sandwich from Dean & Deluca for lunch…. then drunk eating chicken nuggets.

But you know I got you.  Chick nugs aren’t going away for a lifetime… they are just coming back in the form of socially acceptable adult food.  Chicken Paillards.  The good news is you get to the beat the crap out of the chicken (see my thoughts on this in our Wheat Bread post).  This should reduce some of the anxiety you have over abandoning chicken nuggets for better, tastier fare that actually has something to do with real, edible food.

So steps for Chicken Paillard Recipe:

Beat crap out of chicken

Bread chicken (Use panko bread crumbs or else)

Pan fry

Serve with salad on top

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I know this is a big change.  I promise it will grow on you.  Don’t be mad.

*White Trash Option: Keep eating chick nugs- I know you can do it though…. Let go of the nugs….